The past weeks, I have been running value formation programs for a financial institution. One of their core values impressed me very much. It was the value of respect for the individual. I believe as a Christian that man “ is created in the image and likeness of God” and therefore deserves respect and esteem. As we desire respect we also have to give respect to others.
What helps or hinders the practice of “respect for the individual” ?
One helpful practice is to learning how to listen. So easy to say, but so difficult to do. Listening is both a skill and an attitude. In my 20 years as a consultant, I have encountered thousands of leaders. The leaders that I can never forget are those who knew how to listen. Those who listen, really listen are able to bring their people and organizations to achieve extraordinary results.
Recently I read the book of Otto Scharmer on Theory U. He cites different levels of listening. The first level he calls downloading, where a person tells himself that what he is hearing he already knows. He simply confirms his past judgment on the subject.
The second level of listening is factual listening where one looks out for data and facts. You try to absorb in your logical mind the inputs and try to objectively acquire information . You probe the person with questions and carefully think through answers.
The third level of listening in empathic listening is putting yourself in the shoes of the other person. One does not only look at objective facts but allow the “objective world of things, figure and facts to enter the story of a living, evolving self. One gets into the realm of feelings, connecting directly to the other person .
What surprised me is that there is fourth level of listening. Scharmer calls it generative listening. It is going deeper than the empathic level. He talks of listening not just to a person or the team but also to the reflective quiet realm within where one lets go and empties himself of all judgment. It means opening up to the realm of possibilities. It requires an open heart, an open mind and open will capable of “connecting to the highest future possibility that can emerge”. He talks of it as an altered state that he likens to “grace” or “communion”. This enables a person deep attention and awareness that can move a person to peak performance and a group to collective creativity.
Generative listening allows the potential of a person or team to emerge and enable new breakthroughs in thinking. Try it and note how different thinking can enable new results. This level truly results not just in utmost respect for the individual but allows for melding of insights that can result in peaceful and joyful teamwork.
On the other hand, what hinders respect for the individual? One practice cited is not delivering on one’s promise or commitment. Let us look at a common practice that we claim is “Filipino time”. This is the habit of coming late for a set appointment without explanation or an apology. Imagine yourself in the reception area of an office waiting—for a friend, a client, the doctor. With the delay comes a mix of emotions of irritation, doubts, confusion and anger. Personally, if one comes late (which maybe frequent during the Christmas season) showing respect means informing the person concerned that you will arrive late. This allows the person to allocate the time to another activity so important in this age of multi-tasking.
The other challenge is delivering on our promises—in our work or personal life. It embodies professional behavior in submitting a report, delivering on our goals, submitting quality work respectful of the person who will receive or use it. Ironically this is not possible unless we respect ourselves, managing our time and stress, developing an attitude of continuous learning and sustaining personal integration.
Our anchor in all these is the “little voice” inside us that draws us to reflect on the design of love that God has for our work and our lives. Then we in turn can be respectful of others— viewing them as gifts rather than interruptions in our life.
[Tita Datu Puangco is the President and CEO of Ancilla Enterprise Development Consulting, an innovative provider of Organization Development and Training solutions in the ASEAN region. These solutions include strategy development and execution, managing change breakthroughs, brand management, innovation and human resource systems. For your letters/ feedback, kindly email: tita.datu76@gmail.com, For other inquiries, please call 8810-3129/0920-9218332/0917-8348176]
